Learning to Tune Into Your Real Capacity

There was a time in my life when I thought I had endless energy.

I could push through anything. Long to-do lists, emotional overwhelm, physical symptoms, I’d just keep going. And for a while, I could get away with it. But it wasn’t long before that belief and drive to push forward, no matter what, eventually caught up with me.

The Wake-Up Call

A few years ago, I was freshly divorced, raising my two girls, mid-renovation on a new home, and trying to rebuild my coaching business. I was also going through perimenopause, dealing with difficult physical symptoms that doctors told me to “just manage.” Every day felt like a sprint, and I was always behind.

I remember going out for a run (something I usually love), and I couldn’t even make it up the hill. My inner critic kicked in: “You’re lazy. You’ve let yourself go. Just push harder.” Sound familiar?

Then came a routine blood test that changed everything.

Severe anemia. A doctor I’d never met told me, “You need a blood transfusion, immediately.”

It was a jarring moment of truth.

I wasn’t lazy.

I wasn’t undisciplined.

I was depleted.

We Lie to Ourselves About Capacity

That experience forced me to confront a truth I’d been ignoring: I was lying to myself about what I could handle. I assumed I was waking up with a full tank every day. I wasn’t. And I’m willing to bet I’m not alone.

We live in a culture that rewards doing more, being productive, staying busy. Especially for women who are accustomed to managing everything, including our careers, families, and communities. But at what cost?

Pushing through when your tank is empty isn’t strength. It’s disconnection.

The Power of Checking In

So what can we do instead? We can check in.

I use a simple self-inquiry practice I call the Capacity Compass, a tool I created to help you tune into how much energy you actually have on any given day across four key areas: physical, mental, emotional and spiritual.

Imagine four water glasses, each one representing one of those areas. Now ask yourself: How full is each glass right now?

Maybe your physical energy is low, but you feel emotionally strong. Maybe your mind is foggy, but your spirit feels clear. There are no wrong answers, only awareness.

What Happens When You Know Your Capacity?

Once you know what’s full (and what’s not), you can begin to move through your day differently. You can ask:

• What do I really need today?

• What can I let go of?

• What would renew me instead of drain me?

Resilience isn’t just about bouncing back after burnout. It’s about staying connected to yourself before you hit that wall. It’s about learning to lead your life from the inside out, not the outside in.

Want to Try It?

If this resonates with you, I invite you to try my Capacity Compass. It’s a free, printable tool you can use in the morning (or anytime) to check in with yourself.

Use it for a week. Notice what shifts. And most importantly, give yourself permission to move at the pace of your energy, not your expectations.

Remember, you don’t have to keep pushing. You can choose to listen instead.